It had started like a normal Monday morning. I got up as normal, struggling to get the will to get out of bed and start the day. I sorted myself out and left for work. The journey to work was pretty non-eventful and the only change to the norm was putting some music on rather than my usual Monday morning podcasts as I couldn’t bear listening to hearing about how dreadful the performance on Saturday had been and how we were heading back to the Championship. The Beatles were this morning’s musical choice, and I made my way through selections from the White Album and Rubber Soul.

By the time I made it to work something didn’t feel right and I just felt like crying. I had to take 5 in the car park and let it out. I think it was two of the songs that had stirred up the emotion as they reminded me of two people who have played a big part in my life. ‘While My Guitar Gently Weeps’ reminds me of Dan and the time we spent together when we both started playing the guitar and ‘In My Life’ reminds me of my Great Uncle Les who I spent a lot of time with when I was young, and he started my love of music and photography. They are both sadly missed and left a mark on who I am today.

The songs seemed to have brought something to the surface and I had to go with it and let it out. There was probably some pent-up frustration with myself in there as well. As I started to sort myself out after releasing the emotion, I put up a post about it being ok to cry. It wasn’t to get a response from people asking if I was ok, it was more about being honest about how I was feeling. From the work I do with the Foundation, I’m often posting about how talking can help and that you should seek out help if you need it. Unfortunately, I’m not that good at taking my own advice as I still find it difficult to talk about how I feel. I know what I should be doing and what actions I need to take when I feel down but that doesn’t mean that I always do that.

Life is hectic, being a parent is hard, juggling so many things at once can wear you down. We’re all trying our best to get through but sometimes you just need to release what you’re holding in. I’m not perfect, or even trying to be, I’m just trying to get a little bit better each day. There are lots of things that I still need to work on and getting my feelings out is one of them. I’ve always found writing about these things really helpful but haven’t really been able to find the words when I’ve tried to blog lately. The other release that I have is training which through one thing and another I haven’t done enough of recently. I need to get back to it and set myself some challenges to keep things going.

The reason for writing this and for posting the picture, is not to get sympathy but just to let you know that if you are struggling, you’re not alone. Despite what you may see online, everyone has days that they find hard, everyone struggles and at some point, everyone needs help. Even though I post about mental health, it doesn’t mean that I don’t struggle with mine, if anything it’s the struggles with my own mental health that makes me more determined to raise awareness of it. Not everything in the garden is always rosy despite what some people will try and tell you. Today, my guitar needed to weep, working out why and letting it out is just the first step. There is a still a long way to go but you won’t go anywhere without taking that first step. If you are struggling, please reach out to someone as it could be the best thing that you ever do. Life gets on top of us all especially as we are being bombarded with information as it can be overwhelming. Try to take a step back when you can and reset.

Looking after yourself isn’t selfish so take care of yourself.

Much love x